OVERCOMING THE FEAR OF REJECTION IN BUSINESS & SALES
In my work as a business and sales coach, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen competent professionals avoid sales or marketing activities because they were afraid of rejection. The good news is: It doesn’t have to be this way.
Every day, people who know their success depends on reaching out to new people, sit on their hands and avoid prospecting and marketing. Some intend to do it, but they continually procrastinate. How come?
The Hidden Threat
The fear of rejection is not about an external threat. No, the threat is entirely internal. It’s a self-generated, demobilizing fear.
People who are paralyzed by the fear of rejection (I call them rejecto-phobes) are afraid of the feelings that might get triggered inside them if someone were to say “no,” “not interested,” or “not interested at this particular time.”
The feelings that most people want to avoid are defeat and diminished self-worth. Unfortunately, many people are so intent on avoiding this feeling that they fail to act in behalf their own self-interest and their business’ interest.
The Roots of Rejecto-phobia Run Deep
When you think about rejection, what comes up for you? Probably something that happened in your past: a romantic breakup, not getting selected for a job, being cast off in a social situation, parental disapproval, etc. In all these cases, you may have been left feeling “I’m not good enough.”
Many professionals have unconsciously linked their feelings around these early traumas to what might happen in a business or sales conversation. In other words, “If I reach out to someone and they’re not interested in my offer, it must mean I’m not good enough.”
How Do Successful Business Builders Do It?
Not all professionals have the fear of rejection (or if they do, they don’t let it stop them). Some salespeople can prospect all day long without feeling rejected. And in applying themselves, hour after hour, day after day, they manage to create more opportunities for themselves. How do they do it? Are they just thick-skinned?
The main difference between these active prospectors and rejecto-phobes is what goes off in their heads when someone says no.
The rejecto-phobe hears no and thinks something like, “They don’t like me,” “I’m not good enough,” I’m not cut out for this,” “Sales is a sleazy,” or “I’m a failure.”
The active prospector hears no and thinks, “How can I respond to this objection?” or “Time to move on to the next opportunity.”
The rejecto-phobe is subconsciously looking for approval and when he doesn’t get it, he feels deflated.
The active prospector is looking to make sales. She understands that her job is to wade through the masses of people that aren’t interested to find the ones that are. That’s why it’s called prospecting–filtering through the mud and muck to find the gold nuggets.
Don’t Take No Personally
Rejection in sales is actually self-rejection. In sales, people don’t reject you. They may not be interested in your product or service, but how is that a rejection of you as a person?
What the rejecto-phobes don’t realize is that rejection doesn’t come from other people–it’s a reflection of what they already think about themselves, like “I’m not good enough.”
The active prospectors, by and large, simply don’t reject themselves. They don’t take no personally.
By the way, our culture reinforces the bogus notion that “no” or “not interested” represents rejection on the personal level. Much of the sales training and literature and many sales gurus equate “no” with rejection. Personally, I believe we’d be a lot better off if we eliminated the word rejection when we talk about prospecting and selling.
People Sense Fear
Have you ever noticed what happens when someone is scared of a dog? They exude fear. The dog senses the fear and is apt to respond aggressively. Now imagine two salespeople prospecting for business. One is fearful of being rejected. The other believes in herself and what she’s selling. Will they approach prospecting differently? Of course. Will people sense their emotional states and respond to them accordingly? Absolutely!
The Good News
The good news for people who fear rejection is that they can change how they respond internally, and this will have a huge impact on their sales activity and results.
For some people, simply understanding that all rejection in sales is their own “head trip” is enough to empower them to get over themselves and launch into action.
Others may need some support to get beyond their fears and into action. As a business and sales coach, I’ve worked with many professionals to get over their prospecting fears and become more successful at bringing in new business. I’ve got a program to help you banish the fear of rejection and get you into action. If you want to find out more, drop me an email.
One of the most important sales skills is overcoming objections. You’ll unleash your full potential in business and sales only when you’ve overcome your own objections…to prospecting and marketing yourself.
